Two Helpings of Cynicism

After sore disappointment from the Democratic debate, I expected the Republicans to make me ill. Indeed, it's take me this long to recover and finally post about the maelstrom. Indeed, it was contentious, but any free-willed person with even a dash of common sense would recognize that some of the GOP riff-raff on stage were beyond simply debatable options, and would better be described as ridiculous. And a special thanks goes out to CNN for broadcasting the nonsense worldwide, so everyone can think we've learned nothing from the last 8 years and half of our '08 choice is going to come from a crop of disappointing conservative politicos. Just the way we like it.

But the highlights were worthy of any political version of Sportscenter (read: CSPAN-the Ocho). Tancredo wants new Americans to cut ties with the past and assimilate until we no longer "have to press 'one' for English and 'two' for any other language." Because apparently a diverse population of speakers is a sign that WASPs are losing something. You know, because they don't occupy the top tier of socio-economic positions in the U.S., at the moment. That extra two seconds it takes Tancredo to choose his preferred language could have been saved, not allowing the market to do its job adapting to a changing population. If you don't build it, my friend, they won't come, right?

Huckabee, after admitting to only 'like kinda' believing in evolution, supports Tancredo, calling English the one element that holds us together, thereby requiring its preservation.

McCain, currently in the midst of an implosion that threatens to end it all, promised to "veto any bill with pork." And I promise everyone all the parties they want, no more homework, and teachers who make easy tests. Whooooooo! McCain for 6th grade class president. And he 'only kinda' wants to make English an official language.

Ron Paul makes a reference to the American Empire, as a good thing. A foreign policy genius will he make. He further informs us that "Roe v. Wade ruined it for the whole country."

Romney tells us he isn't anti-immigration, he loves immigration, but he says he hates it because he's just trying to get votes.

Giuliani takes credit for turning around all of New York City and believes that is proof that he can turn around Washington--invoking the age old mantra that will result in votes from conservatives because they only need to hear to believe. Seeing a plan is overrated.

Brownback does "not remember that document," the NIE (National Intelligence Estimate), that describes the intelligence we had about Iraq before going. The word choice and sentence fluency made it a very forgettable read, guys. After delivering his plan to cut into Iraq into 3 states, he only has to let us know that he's "been around the issue" of immigration. No actual ideas regarding it are needed. He's been around it, people. Chillax.

Thompson will use Bush to lecture youth on public service. Because he's very popular among youth. And Thompson hopes to reduce the number of youth who choose public service--gotta avoid those historical highs.

Hunter assures us that people want the jobs that illegals take, and we'd only have to pay them $18/hr. Plus, his plan has "got a big fence," so we can rest assured that it's something to be supported, because it can fix all the problems of undocumented immigration. Duh.

At least, after all the bickering over nothing, we came to some unanimity--allowing gays to serve openly in the military. Zero in favor. No need for discussion there.

The debate was very entertaining, if you aren't thinking about your civic duty and the fact that these people are running for serious office.